Which Way Nigeria?

 I don't and will never support violence or looting!

But, recent happenings in Nigeria has given me sleepless nights more than I have ever experienced.

My (emphasis on MY) submissions are many but will be reduced because of limited space:

• Nigerian leaders past and present have failed us and refused to give us solid leadership.

• You have to know who you are fighting and plan the right strategy to fight- Some government needs just dialogue and peaceful protest, some just needed to be voted out of government.

• The developing nations are notable for hijacks of peaceful protests by miscreants.

• When people are angry, all reasonability will be lost- So avoid letting your followers get to that 'anger' state.

• We cannot fight a failed nation or insensitive leaders with emotions. (strategy, organised focus , planning and intense prayers is the key)

• Social media is still and will always be a viable tool to fight for our rights as a people.

• We cannot fight injustice by violating the law. We can't afford to be lawless followers to lawless leaders. (If we are, then we would be bringing ourselves low to their debased state)

• The citizenry will suffer from the aftermath of looting and burning of businesses and houses than the government we are fighting.

• Sensibility and responsibility to others enables you to avoid sharing fake or unverified information to avoid inciting unnecessary war.

So,

Nigerian youths, let us arise, fight intellectually, be involved in politics, be involved in law making.

Go to public hearings and speak out for yourself and the future.

Plan your way up to Leadership, the solution to Nigeria's problem is and will always be good leadership and until we the youths start strategizing and supporting ourselves to climb leadership ladders in the country, alot won't change.

Believe me, the intellectual revolution is going on, and that has to come first before you see the political changes. That's where I'm very optimistic.-Ron Paul

I love you!

My Thursday Musings

Olukemi Gbenga-Dada

©2022

Be Kind (2)

Be Kind to Yourself

A lot of times, many who are very kind, to their family, friends, neighbours, even to people they don't know are NOT kind when it comes to themselves.

We forgive and give to others easily while we find it really hard to forgive and give ourselves the best.

We overwork ourselves, yet advise others to take it easy.

We expend our energy on training and helping others and forget we also matter.

Many times, we think self-compassion or self-kindness is selfishness, laziness, self-pity or self-obsession.

IT IS NOT!

Self Kindness is such a powerful force that heals your mind, body and soul, it also teaches you how to treat others.

My Darling, no matter what you are going through, be kind to yourself:

• Breath

• Forgive yourself

• Create a regular God and me time

• Talk to yourself compassionately- Self-Talks

• Rest

• Go swimming

• Intentionally stay away from negative people

• Treat yourself to a self-care weekend (Spa sessions, Manicure, Pedicure, Face treatment, Sauna bath etc.)

• Buy that shirt, dress or shoe you love so much

• Eat that food you've been craving

Go above and beyond for yourself! You do it for family, friends, and colleagues, but don’t forget about YOU. It’s important to include yourself… You are worthy of your own kindness, too! -Stephanie Lahart

Kindness is in vogue. Be kind to yourself.- Wesam Fawzi

I Love You!

My Thursday Musings

Olukemi Gbenga-Dada

©2022

Be Kind (1)

Be Kind to Others

It has been said that looks or behaviour will never fully capture the tortures of the heart.

A well dressed or badly dressed lady

A silent/bubbly man

A withdrawn/outgoing teenager

A quiet/loud little boy or girl

You can't really know. While you can guess sometimes, it is impossible to fully know the depth of people's pain.

What can one then do than to be kind.

Be kind with your words and actions!

Someone who has added or lost weight might be on medications

That always forward man or woman might be hiding a deep loss or pain.

Even that suddenly sharp tongued person might be hurting deeply.

Children or teenagers who become withdrawn all of a sudden might be fighting low self esteem, bullying and other issues.

Today, decide to be kind:

• Think before you say that word, or make that facial expression.

• Stop reading meaning to everything people do- many are not even conscious of the things you are complaining about

• Express empathy when people confide in you- know when to advise and when to just listen and hug.

• Tell people how valuable they are to you- you might be saving a life.

• Share your little (time, kind words, finances etc.)with someone.

“Kindness is love made visible...”—M. Swanepoel

'Kindness has a beautiful way of reaching down into a weary heart and making it shine like the rising sun'- Unknown

I Love You!

My Thursday Musings

Olukemi Gbenga-Dada

©2022

The Blame Game (2)

Self-blame is one of the most lethal forms of the Blame Game.

This is when you blame yourself for anything and everything.
It is when you emphasize your inadequacies, whether real or imagined.

Self-blame paralyzes us before we can even begin to move forward.

Self-blaming people blame themselves for:

• All that happened in the past.
• Their emotions.
• The way they handle those emotions.
• Another person’s rejection.
• Little failures.
• Someone else’s circumstances.
• Being terrible at something.
• Putting themselves before anyone else.
• Trusting someone they shouldn’t have.
• A terminated relationship.

Do not blame yourself for everything, it’s not your fault that people do not like you or doesn’t believe in you.
It’s not totally your fault that you fail in some things, you might be going through the process of being a better you.
People are unbelievably complex so our necessities are going to be incredibly different.
Don’t blame yourself for wanting to be loved, accepted and appreciated.

Many People predisposed to depression may struggle with self-blame, but you can conquer self-blame by:

• Loving God and yourself
• Forgiving yourself and others,
• Not being too critical
• Making amends and moving on
• Believing in yourself
• Helping others
• Getting Help.

“No one blames her."
"That never matters," said Alec. "Not when you blame yourself. -Cassandra Clare.

I Love you!
My Thursday Musings
Olukemi Gbenga-Dada
©2019

The Blame Game (1)

Everyone except you is the cause of your misfortune,

When you slip, you blame the floor for being slippery,
Not yourself for not being careful.

When you burn the meal, you blame the cooker for burning too fast,
Not yourself for leaving the kitchen while cooking.

We blame others for everything, for being married to the wrong person to being single, for divorcing, for your children misbehavior, for failing your exams, for not being admitted to the higher institution, for bad relationships, in fact, for everything.

It is always easier to blame someone else than to accept responsibilities.

You blame others because:
*We always have a natural deep need to explain
*Our bad feeling is gotten rid of if we heap them on others
*The blame game is a defence mechanism that stops you from accepting your flaws or failings.
*Blaming others feeds your need to control
*Also, we learn it from our parents and others around us
*Blame protects your ego as it put you in a more superior position

When you are an expert at blaming others, you lose:
*Your personal growth
*Power because making everything everyone’s fault makes you powerless
*Healthy relationships
*Positive influence on others

Blame hurts others
STOP THE BLAME GAME:

• Accept responsibility for your actions
• Work harder on your self-esteem.
• Control the urge to tell the story of your past to an untrusted fellow as it increases the chances of putting the blame of your woes on another.

“Be so strong that no one can ignore you. By blaming others, you never win, but you do lose to your conscience again and again.” ― Debasish Mridha

“You can get discouraged many times, but you are not a failure until you begin to blame somebody else and stop trying.” ― John Burroughs

I Love you!
My Thursday Musings
Olukemi Gbenga-Dada
©2019

Do It Now!

You want to learn a trade? Start Now!

You want to further your studies? Start Now!
You desire to switch career? Start Now!
Stopping that addiction? Start Now!
Let go of that terrible relationship? Do it now!
Needed to be trained to get better? Start now!
Need to work on a project, start now!

Dangote, Bill gate and others wouldn't get there by procrastinating.

Today is the tomorrow you talked about yesterday.
Whatever you need to do to be a better person should NEVER be postponed!

Many times, we give excuses for why we haven’t accomplished all our big dreams. 
We blame others, we blame the government, we blame witches and wizards (Lol) etc.

Real reasons why we procrastinate include laziness, fear, lack of focus, comparing ourselves with worse people, trivialisation, lack of interest, lack of motivation etc

If you want to get rid of stalling what’s important, Ensure you:

• Recognise and list the impact of delay.
• Remind yourself of the gains in the future.
• Create a to do list
• Talk yourself into doing it.
• Give yourself a challenge
• Develop a habit of starting earlier than necessary.

WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, DO IT NOW!!!

I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on earth. Then I ask myself the same question. – Harun Yahya

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.– Abraham Lincoln

I Love you!
My Thursday Musings
Olukemi Gbenga-Dada
©2019

Do not Judge!

Do not judge others!

Everyone has their own stories that made them who and what they are.
Not every matured single has a terrible past,
Not every woman without a child has done abortion
Not all terribly behaving kids have poor upbringing
Not every divorce is a woman’s fault.
Not every abuse is from a man.
Not every poor person plans to be poor.
Not every drop-out feels good about it.
Not everyone who fails set out for failure.

Your issues are up on your face yourself, so, face them!

Learn to allow people carry their cross with ease.
Many times, we don’t even have as much information about others problems and worries before we judge them.

We are all different and unperfect, so learn to do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Judging others hurt them and make them feel worse about you.
Respect and tolerance defines you and your attitude to others

Become less judgemental:
*Focus on your life
*Put yourself in other's shoes
*Stop judging yourself (it helps you accept others more)
*Monitor your thoughts
*Accept others character and lifestyles differences
*Be careful with your words and actions.
*Avoid stereotyping

You can easily judge the character of others by how well they treat those who do nothing to them or for them. -Malcolm Forbes

"Judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you- Holy Bible [Matthew 7:1-2]

I Love you!
My Thursday Musings
Olukemi Gbenga-Dada
©2019